Monthly Archives: June 2009

I’m a bag lady–going through garbage

Today is a new low in life. This morning I went to the dentist to have some work done on an upper tooth, and the dentist shot me full of so much novacaine (or something) that it literally deadened my right eyeball! Of course I had no pain, but I also could not move the right side of my face. It made me look weirdly demonic–with no wrinkles on the right side (as if I’d been pumped full of Botox), all of them having migrated to the left side.

It has now been 5 hours, and I still have a crooked face.

I decided (because I am crazy) to run an errand at the local Wal-Mart over lunch (don’t judge me–they had everything I needed under one roof). After I had bought my things, I decided to grab a quick sandwich at Subway. Thereby disastor visited.

After a thoroughly tasty veggie max, I went to my car, only to discover I didn’t have my keys. I went back to several places I’d been, and I realized people were talking to me really slowly–as though my mental capacities were diminished. The more I tried to ask in my slurred way where my keys might be (I was sent to automotive, because someone thought I wanted keys MADE), the worse it got.

I finally realized there was no other option than that I had thrown them away, when I had wrapped up my tidy little mess after I finished eating. So there I was, drooping face, going through garbage! Two Chinese guys sat at a table watching me with great sadness, or worry, or something, and when I finally triumphantly fished them out, I felt compelled to explain to them that they were my keys, and I must have accidentally thrown them away. They now looked scared.

I hope this day will be over soon.